Birthdays
Back to School – Morning Mania: How to Stop the Madness
Liz Pearce, M. Ed.
Commonwealth Parenting
Children’s Museum of Richmond
Morning mania is nothing more than STRESS. Stress comes from feelings of powerlessness or inadequacy. We often think we have no power over a situation, when in reality, we do. Parents do have power over the morning routine. A few examples: We decide
- when the car leaves the house,
- what foods will be available for breakfast,
- how much help we can give each child
REGAIN your POWER! If you find yourself saying lots of “have-tos” and “can’t s”, try substituting “choose to” and “choose not to”.
| Instead of | Say |
| – I have to make a hot breakfast each morning for my children. | – I choose to make a hot breakfast each morning for my children. |
| – I have to help Suzy find her books, shoes and homework each morning. | – I choose to help Suzy find her books, shoes and homework each morning. |
| – I can’t get a shower until everyone has left for school. | – I choose not to get a shower until everyone has left for school. |
| – I can’t work out because I volunteer every day. | – I choose not to work out because I volunteer every day. |
Here’s what to do:
- Streamline the morning – Make a list of everything that needs to happen between “wake-up” and “out-the-door”. Showers, breakfasts, lunch packed, backpacks packed, teeth brushed, children dressed, etc. What can be done the night before? Program the coffeemaker. Pre-assemble breakfast so that kids can fix their own. Lay out clothes the night before.
- Establish a workable morning routine for yourself, and allow an extra 15 minutes until you get the hang of it. Yes, this means setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier. Be patient with each other – it’s likely that everyone is stressed and anxious for the first month of school.
- Put a small notepad and pen by your bedside. That will help with those middle of the night nagging thoughts that keep you awake. If you wake up in the middle of the night, write it down, and go back to sleep.
- Organize a communications center near the back door. Set up an “in-basket” for papers and forms, and an “out-basket” that gets checked each morning. Put backpacks, shoes and coats here. For younger children, the backpack stays here, the homework comes out, one subject at a time. Replace completed homework in the backpack, and take out the next subject, but keep the backpack in one place, and one place only.
- Expect the unexpected – despite your best organizational skills, you’ll either forget something or will discover a task that absolutely has to be done ASAP. Take it in stride, focus on the task at hand, do some deep breathing, and model for your children how to handle unexpected stress.
